A Woman’s Perspective On Building A Business
February 12, 2008
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This Business Week article draws distinctions about women and how they build businesses. I think the observations are valid based on my own coaching experience but it is not just women who are starting a business because they want control over their lifestyle, wanting more freedom, flexibility, and control.
For example, they [women] manage growth so that they have more freedom, work three to four days a week, or choose not to have employees added to their responsibility of having a family at home. Or they might not borrow a large amount of money and instead grow their business slowly and organically—in many cases, on purpose. Via Rethinking How Women Build Businesses
Perhaps it’s my unique perspective as a business coaching practitioner. The women I have known in business have always been more focused on their roles (wife, mother, entrepreneur) and responsibilities and building a business to garner more flexibility than a traditional job.
Women Are Pragmatic and Tenacious Visionaries
I absolutely find it a joy to coach women in business. They always have a clear vision of the results they want and are naturally pragmatic.
Men Tend To Dream of the Possibilities
I am seeing more men beginning to think about lifestyle control and options when building a business. In my experience men are the dreamers and less pragmatic than women.
I am not saying that the way women approach business is better than the way men develop a business – it is just different. Just like anything, there are always exceptions to every assumption.
I have to say that men could take a page from the womens’ playbook – being more pragmatic – and it would be very potent and powerful combination. Just think about it, dreamer, possibilities, pragmatic visionary.
Sincerely,
Live Large! Because you deserve the best out of life.
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July 10, 2007
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Developing Mental Toughness: Answer the Difficult Questions
June 8, 2007
My friend Rosa Say has been writing up a storm lately, today she was on a similar wavelength in writing the Not-so-Secret Weapon of the Self-Employed. In this article I state that we need mental toughness while Rosa states that we need to “believe in ourselves.”
For instance, one of those obstacles, actually a whole category unto itself, is all the things you don’t know yet as a business-savvy person. This includes talents you don’t have, skills you don’t have, and knowledge that you don’t have.
Therefore, you have to have the self-esteem that says, no problem, all this stuff can be learned, and the belief that says, and furthermore, I can learn it. Via Not-so-Secret Weapon of the Self-Employed
How do you see what Rosa wrote about and what I am saying in this article, are they similar or different?
Answer the Difficult Questions
Today, I was listening to Steve Siebold, a mental toughness coach on TSTN. Steve says that we need to ask ourselves bold questions like:
- Why am I failing?
- Why am I not getting the results that I want?
I don’t know about you but I have resisted answering questions like those two questions and:
Steve says that we need to learn to control and manipulate our emotions in order to get what we want.
In the past, I thought that if I admit failure or acknowledge that I am not getting what I want – there must be something wrong, with me.
Steve says that we need to is gather our mental energy instead of bouncing around like a pinball and move away from being mentally scattered and focus on – getting to a place where we reach a ‘focal point’ – where all my focus is directed on my goals.
It Starts with Mental Toughness
In Steve’s book, 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class, he outlines the secrets of mental toughness.
Steve says I need to learn to train my mind by stepping out of our dream world into a place where I take control of my emotions under pressure.
There are Three Types of Consciousness
Steve says that there are three types of consciousness:
- Middle Class Consciousness: They just want to be comfortable. They work hard to avoid risk, play it safe, fly under the radar, avoid pain and seek comfort. Ouch! Can you relate to that type of thinking? I know I used to think that way and sometimes I still catch myself doing it.
- Upper Class Consciousness: I am the best, biggest, fastest, strongest, and their ego becomes their downfall. They are successful goal setters but they are not fulfilled.
- World Class Consciousness: This is the highest level of consciousness. These people live in a spirit based consciousness and have released their own self-importance and no longer need to satisfy their ego. They accept personal responsibility and say, “I am the problem and the solution.” They say, “If it is to be it is up to me.” They create an emotional tempest within them that demands manifestation on the physical plane – which gives them the motivation to achieve their goals.
Develop Emotional Fire
People with world class mental toughness are able to identify what they want and why they want it and then turn that into a fire of emotional motivation that gets them to take the action they need to get the results they want.
Key Learning: Control our emotions under pressure. Answer these questions: What is it, what does it mean, what should I do?
Use your emotional monitor to gauge whether you are in touch with your emotional fire, if it doesn’t excite you emotionally, forget about it and keep looking for your emotional fire by answering:
Does it excite me emotionally?
Key Action: Grow Up! Make a decision to abandon fear based language and weed out any fear based language and upgrade it immediately to World Class Consciousness.
Teacher, Trainer, Coach, Executive Coach, Business Coach
June 7, 2007
I had the opportunity recently to speak to a group of employees about what a business coach does.
This exercise really opened my eyes. I did not realize that I had taken for granted that people know what a business coach does. So this was definitely a helpful exercise.
When writing the description I started by talking about the combination of teaching, training, and coaching I do
I realized that it was likely best to define the role of a teacher and trainer, to be followed by coach, executive coach, and business coach.
Teacher
A teacher shows, explains how to do something by providing instruction and information that results in someone ‘learning’ a subject or skill through observation or participation.
Trainer
A trainer works with someone to modify a specific skill or behavior over a period of time.
Coach
A coach is a private teacher or type of leader who uses a specific approach, strategies, and style to instill new concepts, ideas, and skills that allow a person to grow and improve their personal effectiveness.
A coach accomplishes this by stimulating your interest in or enthusiasm for doing something, is a confidant who provides unconditional support, identifies your strengths, and helps you build upon them.
It may involve helping you discover what is holding you back, help you overcome problems/challenges, acquire new skills, and works with you to develop specific plans needed to breakthrough personal obstacles and achieve your goals.
Some people like to think of a coach as a partner who is there to push and encourage you when your motivation wains, fears arise, or become distracted.
Since HABITS define the quality of our lives, the change from old habits to new, more effective habits is achieved through a long-term approach. When done properly in a trusting relationship, coaching can and does have a tremendous impact on client’s lives.
Executive Coaching
Because the coaching model worked so well for personal effectiveness it helped harried executives deal with stress, emotions, coworkers, superiors, subordinates, and leadership development.
Since these challenges are personal in nature, and these large companies already have the business resources, it has been, and will continue to be, effective by bringing positive change to both thought and behavioral habits.
Since personal effectiveness training and coaching worked for people ‘in business’, many of today’s executive coach trainers believe that it should also work for today’s business owners.
Many teach that business advice, experience, and knowledge are unnecessary! Why would they say that? Because they feel that business owners are people, and obviously personal effectiveness will help them improve to a certain level.
Unfortunately, most small business owners don’t have VP’s of marketing, sales, customer-service, finance to give them the ‘business’ portion of their growth! Nor do they have the resources to hire them.
Therefore, similar to the consultants who focused on the ‘business’ side and ignored the ‘personal effectiveness’ side of the equation, business coaches today who focus solely on ‘personal effectiveness’ while ignoring the ‘business side’ struggle mightily to deliver real long-term results.
How does a Business Coach differ?
A business coach works with business owners to increase their personal and business effectiveness. A business coach will bring specific business expertise and experience to the coaching relationship.
In addition some coaches like those within the PBCA [Greg is a founding member] bring specific tools ands strategies designed to improve the businesses effectiveness in numerous areas including marketing, sales, financial management, human resources, customer service, and systemization.
As the business matures and grows they are faced with roadblocks which requires that they make decisions without a foundation of business knowledge, experience and skill sets needed for long-term survival.
The pace of their business and personal lives also make it difficult to find the time study and acquire personal effectiveness knowledge and skills.
We work with you to create long-term, lasting change for your business and embrace the proven, effective model of regular contact to change bring about change to the personal and business habits of our clients, and incorporate the ‘best of both worlds.’
A tremendous amount of personal effectiveness philosophy and traditional coaching models has been derived from Steven Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which you have probably read. Addressing beliefs/paradigms, values, principles, etc are cornerstone teachings of our profession. He also addressed early in the book the importance of changing our HABITS, which we all know to be fundamental. He went on to define ‘habits.’ He defines it as the INTERSECTION of Knowledge, Skill, and Desire.
Therefore if you agree with Mr. Covey, it is IMPERATIVE your BUSINESS coach be able to not only focus on the Desire (which is the only element addressed in traditional coach training), but ALSO the Business Knowledge and Skills!
Effective business coaching is the COMBINATION of teaching business fundamentals and strategies, as well as teaching personal effectiveness fundamentals! Business expertise (consulting) works for some, but NEGLECTS the personal effectiveness side NEEDED for effective implementation and long-term growth. Traditional coaching works for some, but neglects the business fundamentals NEEDED for effective implementation and long-term growth!
Living Large: Shrinking Does Not Become You
April 7, 2007
“To dream anything that you want to dream, that is the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do, that is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself, to test your limits, that is the courage to succeed.” - Bernard Edmonds, author.
I was tagged today by Dwayne Melancon of Genuine Curiosity blog. Dwayne lists four goals in an effort to keep the meme going started by Alex Shalman who asks that you set “the top 5 to 10 goals that you gotta’ get so that you can truly say you have achieved your wildest dreams in life.“
My Live Large! Goals
I welcome this meme because my personal motto is to “Live Large!” and Bernard Edmonds says so eloquently what each and everyone one of us must come to grips with if we hope to “Live Large!”
- September 1, 2006 I set a BHAG (big hairy audacious goal) of Impacting 1,000,000 Business Owners which I wrote about on my personal blog. I need to get back to writing my business plan so I can Impact 1,000,000 business owners. [March to Impact a Million]
- Own a beach side home. I love the beach, the sound of the waves, and walking the shoreline.
- Own and drive a motorcycle, a Harley Davidson would be great but the truth is I would love owning any comfortable highway cruiser.
- Visit at least one country on each continent.
- A personal net worth of $1,000,000.
- Nap in a hammock by the beach.
- Swim with Dolphins.
- See a real live Volcano.
- Watch my son achieve his dream of making a living as a comedian.
- Walk the shoreline of our favorite beach on our 50th anniversary.
Visualization
One thing I know for sure, the stronger the dream, the more I visualize the end result, the easier achieving the goal becomes. It is almost effortless.
Limiting Beliefs
As a result of setting my BHAG of Impacting 1,000,000 Business Owners, I was confronted with the realization that I had a belief that was holding me back. The uninitiated might have labeled it as fear, however, I discovered something much more profound. I discovered that I held a strong belief in:
Hard Work: I came to the clarity that “everything I have or would ever have was the result of hard work.”
This explained why I had such an aversion to setting large goals. I have always worked hard and so how could I achieve a large goal when I could not see how I could work any harder? Never mind, a BHAG.
I have since witnessed the synchronicity and power of visualization of a BHAG and how effortlessly a goal can be achieved if I allow others to support me in achieving a goal. I cannot tell you how much it means to know that I am not alone and can depend on my friends to help and support me on my path to “have achieved my wildest dreams“. Thanks Dwayne.
Tag You’re It – Live Large!
Now it is my turn to tag some friends to set some goals that would prove they “have achieved their wildest dreams“. Here they are:
- Ken Reiss
- Rosa Say
- Emmanuel Oluwatosin
- Lorelle
- Wayne Hurlbert
- Ben Yoskovitz
- Phil Gerbyshak
- Blog Bloke
- Mike Sigers
- Binnur Al-Kazily
My challenge to each of you, is to blog transparently about your goals and Live Large! Because shrinking is not an option…
“To dream anything that you want to dream, that is the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do, that is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself, to test your limits, that is the courage to succeed.” - Bernard Edmonds, author.
Live Large!
I’m Hero, Are You?
February 19, 2007
I started playing around with entrepreneurship since the age of 21. I always knew I would be in business, it just took me decades to sort out what I wanted to be when I grew up.
Being an entrepreneur was not encouraged despite the fact that my father and grandfather were both entrepreneurs.
I am noticing that entrepreneurship is becoming cache’ and getting an unusual amount of good press.
Entrepreneurs are the Heroes of the World
I did not say it, that comes from Cato’s Letter:
The amazing fact is that entrepreneurs and innovators and businesses have turned luxuries that not even kings could afford into low-priced everyday items at you local store. That is the best defense of capitalism. Via The Entrepreneurial Mind
Just look around at the health, the wealth, the technologies, the opportunities, and the food on your plates. Could any of that have been possible for a king or a queen 200 years ago?
Entrepreneurs are the heros of ur world. Despite the risks, the hard work, the hostility from society, the envy from neighbors, and state regulations, they keep on creating, they keep on producing and trading. Without them nothing would be there. Via PDF Cato’s Letter
There is just way to many great quotes to include them all here, download the right page PDF and read it for yourself.
Be advised that the Cato Institure is a Libertarian, non-profit public policy research foundation headquartered in Washington, D.C.
The content is great, albeit self-serving essay on the value that entrepreneurship brings to society and I am a proud entrepreneur? Are you?
How Is Your [Ego] Investment Going?
February 3, 2007
Small business owners’ sense of identity is tightly wrapped up in their business. This is a good thing and it can also become a stumbling block.
How is an entrepreneur different from a corporate employee in planning for retirement?
The main difference is in ego investment — psychological involvement in the business. Small-business owners and entrepreneurs are involved and invested and personally identified with their businesses in ways that employees in large companies just aren’t. Via For Small-Biz Owners, It’s Tough To Let Go
I have always said that business coaching is the only effective way to help a small business owner grow and develop their business. Business coaches combine both personal and business aspects in our approach to coaching.
I coach to increase both personal (business owner) and business effectiveness and we work together to strike a balance and manage your ego.
Live Large!
Question of the Day: What do you believe?
January 28, 2007
“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” – Stephen A. Brennan, American basketball coach
We can not anticipate or expect that which we do not believe. Successful salespeople simply have a level of conviction, belief, and desire that fuels their expectations and builds their confidence.
What Others Say About Success and Belief
“I’m a big believer in growth. Life is not about achievement, it’s about learning and growth, and developing qualities like compassion, patience, perseverance, love, and joy, and so forth. And so if that is the case, then I think our goals should include something which stretches us.” – Jack Canfield
“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve._ Mary Kay Ash
“There are many qualities that make a great leader. But having strong beliefs, being able to stick with them through popular and unpopular times, is the most important characteristic of a great leader.” – Rudy Giulian
“I believe through learning and application of what you learn, you can solve any problem, overcome any obstacle and achieve any goal that you can set for yourself.” – Brian Tracy
What do you believe? What forms the foundation of your beliefs?
How much is what you believe based upon your own experience, ideas, or thoughts or based upon what others think?
If you would like to learn a process that will help you learn to become more internally focused, visit 7 Steps to Achieving the Results You Want.
Live Large!
How to Overcome the Firefighter Syndrome
December 11, 2006
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“If we allow our emotions to deplete our energy, we have no energy to change our life or to give to others.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
Listen To The Podcast
How many times have you heard this phrase? “Don’t work in the business, work on it.”
I bet you have heard that phrase more than you care to remember. I am also pretty confident that when you hear that phrase you roll your eyes, flinch or groan in frustration, because you know you should be working on the business and yet it is still a challenge.
So why it is such a challenge for to do something we know we ought to do? I have discovered a factor that might explain why it is such a struggle for some entrepreneurs.
Before I get into that, I want to make an important point.
While it is true that we need to be working on the business, the truth is that in order to be able to do so the effectiveness of the business has to increase so you can pay someone to do your work while paying yourself to work on the business.
Back to the challenge of working on your business.
When I see business owners who are unable to work on their business it is typically due to one or more factors:
1) Emotional Energy Drain: When we are feeling a lot of stress we use various tactics to cope with the source of the stress by ignoring it, working harder, or we ‘feel’ just let the stress run amuck which which drains us of our energy, enthusiasm and eventually wears us out until we have nothing left to give.
2) Anger, Anxiety & Frustration: Indulge in these emotions is like poking your life raft with a sharp stick over and over again. The more you indulge these emotions the more energy leaks out. Anxiety is a sign that you have something you may be trying to hide from, you left something important incomplete, or you are hoping some unresolved problem just goes away.
3) Exhausted from Putting Out Fires: you are a one man fire fighting team. You have perfectionist tendencies sometimes getting in the middle of an employees task to “show them how to do it the right way.” You run and run and run until you are all pooped out.
When we allow things to escalate or continue without resolving them we deplete our energy and our will is simply not strong enough to stir us into action. We are trying to draw water from an empty vessel.
As Don Miguel Ruiz said in our quote: “If we allow our emotions to deplete our energy, we have no energy to change our life or to give to others.”
Here is a do-it-yourself idea that will help clear the decks and stop the energy leaks.
Mind over Matter Overhaul (Thoughts and Feelings)
Create a list of your values, beliefs, morals, ethics, and principles that you hold as true for you.
Make a list of at least three items for each of the five elements, focus on those that empower and invigorate you. When you experience stinkin’ thinkin’ review your lists and think about them until you run across one that contradicts your stinkin’ thinkin’ and replace it with the empowering one.
I suggest that you read this list every morning and you will find over time that your stinkin’ thinkin’ will disappear and be replaced with positive, empowering, and supportive thoughts that move you toward your goals, objectives, and dreams.
Coaching Available
If this describes your situation, job one is to eliminate the energy drain or plug the leak using the Mind Over Matter Overhaul technique. This approach is not a quick fix and takes persistence, repetition, and practice to be totally free of the emotional baggage that affects your performance. Keep at it and if you would like some support or coaching just let me know.
I can say that once you become aware of the energy drain and begin to deal with it you will begin to make the transformation from feeling drained to feeling invigorated and balanced.
What Dolly Parton Can Teach Business Owners
April 29, 2006
I was watching the Dolly Parton biography today on the Biography channel. I knew Dolly Parton is one of the most prolific song writers in the world but there was a lot I did not know.
Parton was born in 1946 at Sevierville, Tennessee, the fourth of twelve children born to Robert Lee Parton and Avie Lee Owens. Dollyt is perhaps the most-honored female country performer of all time. She holds 25 U.S. gold, platinum and multi-platinum honors from the RIAA. She has seen 25 songs reach No. 1 on the Billboard country charts, a record for a female artist. She has 41 career top 10 country albums, a record for any artist, and 110 career charted singles over the past 40 years. All inclusive sales of singles, albums, hit’s collections, paid digital downloads and compilation usage during Parton’s career have reportedly reached 100 million records around the world. Via WikiPedia.
Not bad for a girl from the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee.
True to Her Ideals
In 1974 Dolly was presented with an opportunity to have Elvis Presley cut her song “I Will Always Love You” she turned them down because they wanted to own at least half of the publishing rights. Dolly turned Elvis down because the song had already been published and was a proven hit. People in the business thought she was nuts after all this was Elvis Presley.
In 1992 Dolly was surprised to learn that Whitney Houston recorded the song as a soundtrack for the movie ‘The Bodyguard’. Whitney made the song her own and it became the number one hit for 14 weeks, which was a record at the time. How many millions of dollars do you think it was worth not have sold half the rights of “I Will Always Love You” to Elvis?
Dolly was never worried about the money. Sure she had hard times starting out but she says, “I just want to be the best that I can be.” and “I want to own as much of myself as I can.”
Down To Earth
Her charity work is not well known but one of her passions is the Imagination Library where preschool children in more than 40 states get books. The first book that every child gets is “The Little Engine that Could” as it is one of Dolly’s favorites and as the meaning of the book says ‘you can be anything you want to be’.
What We Can Learn from Dolly
Dare to be different. Dare to be yourself. If you have the ability to make a difference in someone’s life you should.
The easy way is not always the best. Own what you create and you have options and control of your future.
Words to live by indeed. Thanks Dolly.
How to Manage Your Time, Solve Problems, Set Priorities, and Coach Yourself – Ask Better Questions
April 6, 2006
View All Posts Tagged: Communication Skills
Audio Commentary:
Have you ever struggled with choosing and setting your priorities? Have you given up on time management? The life of a business owner and entrepreneur is complex.
On any particular day business owners have to deal with marketing, sales, human resources, financial management, customer service, increasing profits, systems, and strategic planning. An argument could be made that each of the areas need attention. So how in the world can a business owner stay focused and make sure that he/she is working on the right thing at any particular point of time? Ask better questions.
Questions Breakthrough Clutter and Confusion
The process of answering a question makes you dig through your personal experience and knowledge. Questions are powerful tools to help you discover the basis of the problem, issue, or situation you are dealing with. As a result you will gain a fresh perspective on your situation.
Questions for Business Owners To Create a Laser Focus
- What’s does the business need from me today? Based on my answer, what needs to change? What information do I need? What is my logical next step?
- What do I need from the business? How can I go about creating that? Who do I know that has experience dealing with this issue that I can get support from?
- Will this task take longer than 2 minutes to complete? If yes, defer until later. If not, do it now.
- Is this something I need to deal with now or can it wait? If it can wait, when would be the best time to schedule it to be worked on?
- Am I prioritizing my tasks based on my comfort zone or what the business needs to succeed?
Questions for Managing Employees
- What do you think is the most important task for you to complete today?
- What the business needs from you today is ___(task description)___ and this is why ___(state reason)___. Can you do that? Thanks.
- What is the most exciting thing that has happened since you came to work here?
- What do you need to do your job that you do not currently have and why is that important?
- If you had a magic wand that could change anything about the business or me what would it be and what would be the benefits?
- What embarrasses you about working here?
- What about your job are you most proud of?
Questions for Building Rapport with Another Business Owner
- My name is ____, you are?
- Why did you start this business?
- How did you come to know __(persons name)___?
- How long have you been in business?
- What is your favorite magazine, radio show, or podcast?
- Where are you from? Do you live in this area?
- How long have you been in business? How are things today compared to when you started?
- Who is your greatest competition? How do you compete?
- Who are your professional advisors and are you satisfied with the support you get from them?
- What are three things your business does very well? How did you come to make those strategies a priority and how do you know if they are working?
Probing Open Ended Questions Will Increase Your Effectiveness
The key to becoming more effective lies in developing the ability to ask good questions. The best question is a question that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no answer but has to be explained.
The way our brain works is when we are asked a question it searches for an answer. It will keep looking until it finds the answer. That is why questions are so powerful – they elicit information. Even if you cannot find the answer right away your brain will be activated to keep looking for an answer – no one knows everything.
You do not need to know everything – you just need to be curious and be able to ask the right question(s) because asking intelligent questions will point you in the right direction and help you find the answer.
What are your favorite questions you use to keep yourself on track and focused? How have these questions helped you?
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